An Overabundance Of Yarn

SO last night I walked into Stitchn'Bitch and there was a girl standing there with two of the biggest black garbage bags I've ever seen. You know what they were full of? YARN. They were being donated to us. For whatever purpose we see fit to use it for.
Naturally ,the purpose we saw fit was to spread it out all over the floor and roll in it. So we did. I wish I'd had a camera, but I'm sure you can imagine the sort of meeting this was when I tell you that one of our members stuffed two large skeins up her shirt and danced on the table.

I began to look this gift yarn in the mouth, however, when it came time to leave, and I remembered that I had to take the bus home. Hmm. Well, I'm sure I can handle it! How much can yarn weigh, anywhow? Right?

A lot, especially when some of it is an industrial-sized cone of dyeable cotton.

So I'm dragging these bags in fits and starts across the campus, and I stopped on the way to help raise money for Katrina victims, by paying $3 to smear a plateful of whipped cream all over the face of a fraternity member. As a gesture of thanks for my generosity, the gooey fraternity helped me carry the bags to the bus.

I got on the bus, where the bags took up two seats each. I got off at my stop, which is about half a block away from my apartment. I couldn't lift both bags at once-they were really almost bigger than me. I decided I would drag them along the sidewalk, which worked for about half of the way, when they both developed huge holes (this should really not have surprised me, seeing as they were thin plastic and I was dragging them across gravel. But still.) and suddenly there was yarn all over the moonlit street. It was like Hansel and Gretel used their yarn stash instead of bread crumbs.

As I scuttled around under the streetlamps picking up yarn, I wondered: does this qualify as a dream come true, or a nightmare?