I'm Moving

to a new blog for a new start on crafting! Come have some tea and cupcakes with me at

my love as deep


Thanks for being here for the journey and I hope you'll join me for the new adventure; my free patterns will be joining us later, but will hold down the fort here for the time being.

A Brand New Beginning, Smelling of Mint

Welcome to my new blog! If you've followed me here from Lucky Wings, welcome and I'm glad you're here! If you're new, you can still get my free patterns at Lucky Wings until I get them all moved over.

Well, kids, it's been awhile. As I look back on this past year off from crafting, it is laid out like black ink on white canvas how the choices I made decided the course of my life...and yet, I didn't think those choices through particularly hard. I think a good list is in order to clarify.

Top Choices of 2008 and Their Results

• I stopped blogging. Reason: I got engaged and had someone to talk to who appreciates and admires my work, filling that attention hole I have in my chest. Result: Nobody checks the old blog anymore. It is on life support. Thus, my fresh start here.
  
• I stopped designing almost completely. Reason: I was BUSY planning a wedding (OMG the wedding, here are some pictures for you, and I would like to point out that my AMAZING mom and aunt made my dress by hand. Themselves. From a pattern. ) and that sort of took up all my time. Then I started teaching kindergarten. I know, right? Just what you do with a degree in English Education 7-12 and a longstanding feud with little kids. It has actually worked out really well, because through making all my classroom materials I've been inspired in ways I never would have been otherwise, and developed an appreciation for children's books.I guess that's the result for that one. Also I am married.

• I let my Etsy shop sit empty and stopped posting on Craftster. I fell out of the loop completely. Result: Every time I went to those sites, I felt guilty and strange watching the parade of craftiness move on and evolve without me. Then I wondered why I felt that way. Not too long ago I read an interview with Yokoo, who makes super-huge scarves that are like crack they are so awesome. Here is what punched me in the chest and made me GET IT.
  

"Artists are jealous enthusiasts. We are privately vain depressants. If we see something admirable, we feel rather overwhelmed to take some sort of action against it. Be it productive or barren."-Yokoo

Ohhhhhhhh....

Result: It's okay for me to feel mad that I didn't make the choice to keep crafting through my life changes. My frustration means that I am an artist, and watching other people fulfill their potential makes me want to take action. So what's stopping me now?

• Primarily, House. Like the show. And how I watched all the seasons. Oh, how I love House. But it ate up all my after work time and by the time Amber kicked the bucket I was so stunted creatively that I felt even worse. And then I read a list by blogger Anna Borstad (I don't know if you guys use StumbleUpon; it's how I found her blog, and while I'm happy about that, if you can't handle another thing in your life that eats time for breakfast, don't do it). Here is number 5:
  

"5. I have prioritized creativity in my life, and made time and space to honouring that pursuit, and I feel richer and clearer for it"-Anna Borstad

Result: I wanna do that. So I did. I asked for a sewing machine for Christmas, got one, battled that damn bobbin until I finally won, and started filling the Etsy again. Not with things I think will sell, but things I want to make, based on sketches I've done and daydreams I've had. I'm not underpricing and I'm going to advertise. I am making time every day to work on my designs and I am taking my time and working carefully.


Wanna see some pictures? I am so freaking proud of this:

For all the time I've stored up

Here it is.


See this? This is me, and my Cuyler, and the scarf I made him...and a very sparkly ring on my left hand.

I'M FREAKING GETTING MARRIED, KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. The cable on the scarf is from here.

I felt like that was all I wanted to say, it being the big event, the disco ball of life at the moment, so to speak.

But there's more, right? Never mind not blogging all this time, I haven't even journaled. It's been a really, really busy time...Mostly because I now work 40 hours a week and there's no such thing as Christmas break anymore.

But also I haven't felt it. I know there's a lot going on in my subconscious, but for some reason I don't feel inspired to lay it out in neat little rows. I'm sure it's coming..

Getting married means...wow. It means the rest of my life goes this way, and I have to get my shit together and quit wasting money, quit putting off the paperwork for certification, get some interviews and make my life really start. Maybe that's why 'm not thinking about it. I've always looked forward to the future after college, always knew it would be painful and hard but worth it.
Now that it's here I'm scared. So I'm plugging through it, even though this 22-page teaching application gives me an automatic stress headache just to think about. Not that it's that tricky. It just seems so intimidating. Why? I think it's my fear of failure, that I won't measure up. I won't get a job, I won't be able to teach effectively. I know the fear is separate from me, and I won't let it keep me from trying. I was really enjoying not thinking about it, though.

I went home to New York and visited my family a week ago. I saw my dearest Heather a few times and on the way home, I cried. It really struck home that I chose to move so many thosands of miles away..for good. Or at least for the future I can see from here. Instead of seeing her whenever I like, it will be twice a year if I'm lucky, and she is such a huge part of my soul.
I found my husband (it makes me shake inside just to say that) and he will be my best friend. He is like steel, like a rock, like everything safe and right for me. He loves me absolutely unconditionally and calls me on my shit unmercifully, which is exactly what I always wanted.

I will still miss my Heather. I hope life gives me a few new twists so that it doesn't turn out to be as hard as it feels right now.

It generally seems to turn out right. I don't underestimate how lucky I am.